I used to be addicted to amphetamines.
I’d use amphetamines in the morning and before lunch, just to get through the day. I’d take some in the evening to keep me awake because I stayed up so late the night before because of the big hit I took in the evening. I couldn’t stop. If I stopped, I’d get crushing headaches, I’d get the shakes, I’d be cranky and angry until I had my next hit. Avoiding withdrawal became an important goal.
I woke up one morning and realized that my addiction was controlling my life. I couldn’t wake up without my drugs. I couldn’t function at my job without my drugs. I just couldn’t cope without it.
It was getting expensive. A sizable portion of my expendable cash went to dealers.
The problem was that everyone in my circle of friends used amphetamines. My revelation didn’t seem too important to them. Some folks laughed about staying constantly high to avoid the crash. Most of the folks only took another shot once or twice a day as a “pick-me-up”, so they didn’t see themselves as having any sort of problem at all.
No one seemed to realize that addictions, even mild ones, place something else before God. If you can’t function without your drugs, God is second place. Even if you need a little kick to get you through the rough spots, you’ve replaced God with a pharmaceutical.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.
–Habakkuk 3:19
I still get cravings, years later. Every time I see a Starbucks, my mouth waters.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say amphetamines? I meant caffeine.
Coffee. The elephant in the Christian living room.
Skip it for two weeks. 14 days in a row. I dare you.
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4 comments ↓
I am so proud of you!
I love you and I am honoured to share this journey with you.
I love this post. I have never liked coffee, so the chances of addiction for me were slim, if any, but I watch so many friends tied to coffee and I shake my head in wonder. You’re absolutely right. It is an addiction no less spiritually dangerous than any other.
I’m not being pious. I have at different times in my life been addicted to Diet Coke. Honestly. And the pull to it in the afternoon was often my defeat. Again, no less spiritually dangerous than any other addiction because at its base and core, I couldn’t live life without it.
Jesus wants to be the only thing I cannot live without.
Oh! Just in case it comes across like that, I’m not trying to be pious or holier-than-thou either. I was strongly addicted to coffee. I have other things that I struggle with now (I’m on the internet on a sunny Saturday afternoon while my kids are playing outside…).
This is a serious issue that I and others struggle with, I’m not trying to point fingers.
Well if THAT didn’t make me sit up and go “WHAT!?!” I loved that. You had me convinced you were speaking of narcotics right to the end. Good on you! My husband is typically addicted to coffee as well. I can tell how ‘hooked’ he is by the delay time between me asking him a question and his ability to answer. The longer the pause, the more coffee he’s been drinking. Sad really. I’m not addicted, only because of the number of consecutive years I’ve been nursing babies, and if they get caffeine, they don’t sleep. And if they don’t sleep, Momma don’t sleep. And if Momma don’t sleep, Momma ain’t happy. And nobody wants an unhappy Momma! (although I do quite enjoy a decaf soy mocha anytime it is available!)
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