I rose and set up a plain kitchen timer today, so as not to be disturbed by the laptop. I also put the dog outside.
I was able to sit for 18 minutes without looking at the timer before I just let go. I’m struggling with a difficult relationship issue that arose yesterday and I spent most of my meditation trying to figure out how not to sit and gnaw at it. Following Jan’s advice for Day 2 of her challenge, I just kept coming back to counting my breath. (You can also check out how Buddhist Mama’s second day went.)
I also can’t decide if I should keep my eyes open or closed. There are benefits to both for me. If my eyes are closed I am less distracted by the outside world: a bird flying past my window, a squirrel running along the fence; but if my eyes are closed I am more likely to wander about inside my head digging up all sorts of mental distractions.
I’m also not feeling calm afterward. I actually feel agitated which led to a terrible day yesterday in which I was unable to concentrate on anything and basically piddled the day away. I don’t want to repeat that today, but don’t really know how to maintain my daily focus enough to accomplish the things I would like to accomplish.
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I think it is completely normal to get caught up in the mind when you meditate. I find counting my breath helps. 1-10 over and over. Sometimes, I find myself on 16 without realizing it and other times I can’t seem to get to 5 without having to start over.
Have you thought of maybe a short gatha to recite during the day to help you remember to breath? Here is one I use from Thich Nhat Hahn:
Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.
I really like that April. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I think I’ll have to post it in a few places around the house. I’m also realizing that I really like everything I read from Thich Nhat Hahn and may need to invest in a few of his books.
And, might I add that the “difficult relationship issue” isn’t me?